


Mistakes Will be Made

by KFawkes



Series: Oxford Comma [33]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kingsman Fusion, Angst, F/M, Friendship/Love, Love, Love Confessions, POV Eggsy Unwin, Roxy Is a Good Bro, Smitten Eggsy Unwin, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 09:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KFawkes/pseuds/KFawkes
Summary: You're getting married to someone that is not Eggsy, and its taring him apart.





	1. Chapter 1

Today was hard for Eggsy in more ways than one. Hard to move, hard to think, hard to focus... He didn’t sleep a wink last night-- he couldn’t. He was up tossing and turning staring at the ceiling as if the answers to all of his problems were written up there; and well after he realized they wasn’t, he still couldn’t keep his eyes closed for more than a few minutes at a time. 

In truth he hadn’t been able to sleep for the last few weeks, if not months… The effects of which were not easily hidden from concerned eyes- least of all yours, and Eggsy really did know he wasn’t fooling anyone. He probably could have if he tried harder, it was part of his job, wasn’t it? But even Eggsy knew that was a lie. 

He may had been pretty good at this, but he was human and he couldn’t deny the deep dark pit he felt in his depths of his stomach. It’d been there since you met Sam last spring. It was there every day he looked at you now too, and every time he saw you kiss him, or hold his hand…

Eggsy had grown rather used to that pit, actually and the sickly way it made him feel. It just sort of became a part of his life, a part of him… but that’s the price you pay sometimes when it come to silence he learned, and he was willing to pay it if it meant you were happy. 

Willing to endure or not didn’t make it easier however, and most days he didn't think it could get worse than that feeling. Today he learned how fucking wrong he was. How truly naive he could be. 

This new feeling felt so much worse. Like his insides were being pulled from his body and stuffed into a blender before his very eyes.

Because today… today you were getting married. 

You and your tall, successful, charismatic fiancé would be married in less then 5 hours, and each second that ticked by felt like another nail in his coffin, another step towards that 6 foot hole, and another pile of dirt in his grave. 

It was unbearable most days, but today it was excruciating, and all he could do was watch as the button was pressed… watch as his insides blended into a thick bloody mess of regret and unease with a dash of self loathing. 

And so watch Eggsy did with a self deprecating smile and a swig of his drink.

He sat watching the rush of ushers placing chairs in rows, and flowers atop of horribly decorated tables. He tossed his jacket lazily to the side on the stairs he sat, clearing the uncomfortable itch from the back of his throat. In that moment the only thing he was thankful for was that you weren’t so traditional to get married in a church—though you did see its charm, he'd remembered you saying... 

No, Being in Italy at a vineyard was much more his speed due to the excessive amounts of space available to avoid you in of course. Oh, and the copious amounts of alcohol to avoid his feelings. 

So far the weekend had been full of close calls and would be mistakes… due to too much gin, and far too many emotions, but as Eggsy sit with his arms set to his knees; he couldn’t help but wonder which mistake would’ve cost him more? 

Which would cost him more…

He found himself asking questions like ‘Would he really be able to live a life where you weren’t his?’ or ‘Could he really ever be okay with the fact that you’d _never_ be his?’, and why not throw in an ‘Am I fucking insane?’ in there for good measure. 

The reality was he didn’t know, and as he look to the perfectly blue sky the answer wasn’t written up there either. But still Eggsy felt his time slipping away like a lost item floating down river, drifting in the pull of the currant just barely out of reach until it was too far gone... just like you.

Only, he didn’t move because what was the point? He couldn't find one so he just sat there under dismal brows, that signature Unwin frown spread long and wide. 

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Roxy called stepping through the grass, her lavender gown bunched in her fist as not to drag.

“Been here the whole time. Must notta been lookin’ very hard.” he replied with a weak smile, straightening his posture a hair as a breath released almost forcefully. 

Roxy frowned fully closing the space to take her seat beside him. She raised a delicate hand to his shoulder offering the most sympathetic rub she could… Eggsy didn’t have to say another word for her to know exactly what was on his mind. “This must be hard for you.”

_Yeah, Rox… that don’t really cover it._

Eggsy didn’t say that or anything else though at first, he didn’t even look at Roxy. He just held his gaze on the heel digging lightly into the ground… His lips parted regretfully with his tongue tracing back and forth over the bottom of his teeth in depressing cadence. 

A short sigh released and he pulled his hands to his face, clearing his throat as he chased away his dark thoughts. “It ain’t easy.” 

Roxy lowered her brow pulling a deep breath in, her arm still softly rubbing his back. “Look… I know I shouldn’t tell you what I'm about to because— well, it's not really my place. I should be telling you that you need to just let her be. That it sucks, really fucking bad, but that you have to just let her go… that you need to move on.”

“That ain’t what's happenin'?” he asked almost defensively feeling worse than before Roxy joined him. But he also knew she was right. He should just let you go because you were his best friend in the entire world… the light in his life and you above anyone else in this shithole deserved happiness. 

“No, it's really not Eggsy.” she started again finally removing her hand. She slid it absently to itch her chin, leaning back into the stone stair she sat. She was wearing her signature ‘I don’t know if I should say this’ face and Eggsy’s narrowed his eyes on her suspiciously. 

“Am I missin’ somethin’ here?” 

“The very last thing I should be doing right now is telling you to go to her… But, Eggsy… you can’t let her do this.” 

Eggsy darted his head her direction as utter confusion set every inch of his face. Was Roxy— your actual Maid of Honor seriously suggesting what it sounded like she was?

“You bloody mental? I can’t jus—“ 

“Why can't you?” Roxy returned his puzzled gaze, but this one was closer to saying ‘how could you be so stupid?’ Like the answer was so obvious to everyone but him… was it? 

“‘Why can't I’?” Eggsy pulled his face almost angrily this time, his voice questioning in thick sarcasm and disbelief. But in truth the only person he was pissed at was himself. “Why can-for fucks sake, Rox. She’s gettin’ married today, yeah? You jus expect me t’walk up an tell her I love her then? Tell her t’leave Sam for ME?” he scoffed condescendingly leaning into the arms he now propped behind him; biting the tip of his tongue between a row of teeth. “You can’t be serious.”

“No, you can’t.” when she replied this time, she was well past over and done with pleasantries, and Eggsy had only seen her this cuffed one other time… The results of which were absolutely terrifying. “This is your last chance…” she continued softer than before. “Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this?”

“An what’s the alternative, hmm?” he was angry at first, but as the seconds ticked away his face shifted to something more painful than anger. “She don’t love me, Rox…”

This time Roxy wasn’t thinking it, she flat out said it. “Are you that daft?” 

He shook his head, nearly at a loss for words with his face too shocked to be offended. “What?”

“Are you that fucking blind? Y/n’s been in love with you since she met you, Eggsy.”

This time he was at a complete loss of words. He just blinked several times at her, swallowing down the lump that pushed further and further up his chest tenaciously. A moment later his lips parted, but only a sound of unbelieving breath escaped. 

“She’s still in love with you.” 

“Wh… she's not, Ro—“

“Will you just shut up. Do you actually think I’d tell you something like that for no reason? Believe me when I say she doesn’t want this… she doesn't want any of this.”

“She tell you that then?”

Roxy stopped because no, you hadn’t told her that. Well, the part about being in love with him you did tell her… but the marriage bit she didn’t have to be told about. That one she picked up all on her own, and she couldn’t believe that Eggsy couldn’t see it himself. 

But she couldn’t say that, because she knew it wouldn’t be enough for him. It wouldn't be enough and he would never believe her.

“No, she didn’t. Because if she did—she wouldn't be here. None of us would be here.” he gesturing towards sea of shuffling footsteps, the dance floor and tents and tables...

“Will you just listen to m—“

“I ain’t gonna listen t’this shit anymore, Rox… she chose him.”

“So that’s it.” she asked— technically, but it was more of a statement.

“That’s it.” he reiterated pointedly looking at her under furrowed brow, chest huffing and puffing in defeat.

“Fine.” Roxy said after a moment. She stood then, no longer caring that her dress carted the cement below. She just stared down at him in utter disappointment. “Do what you want. It’s your life, Eggsy. ” 

She turned walking away, her dress lightly tracing the grass she was basically stomping through. But before she got very far she stopped suddenly, turned pulling in a long breath before speaking once more. “But… wouldn’t you rather spend it with her?”

And with that she turned leaving him in a fog of silence, and a heart heavier than gold.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your Pov!

"I've gotta say, you make quite a beautiful bride, Y/n... Sam's a lucky man." Merlin said with a smile, his hand offering an affectionate squeeze to your shoulder. 

"Than—" you stopped when you saw the face Merlin was making. When you looked up to him you'd expected to see pure elation behind his eyes based on his tone alone, but all you saw was sadness. A thick smoggy sadness hidden behind several layers of forced bliss and feigned excitement. He never was very good at keeping things from you— not when he recruited you, and definitely not now. You crossed your arms to show this time was no different, and that somedays you may have let that slip but today was not gonna be one of them. "What's... up?"

Merlin pushed a laugh through closed teeth, with his lips slightly parted as if he was forcing himself not to speak. There was about 30 seconds of this, but it felt like minutes had passed. You thought he finally would say something, but when he pulled his gaze back to yours he just smiled again; close mouthed and resistant, shaking his head briefly offering one last squeeze to your shoulder. This one was sadder than the last... like he had something important to say but just couldn't, and honestly you weren't sure you wanted to hear it. 

"I better be going. Harry and uh," he paused to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, then stuffed an anxious hand into his pocket; a foreboding sigh releasing alongside it. "Eggsy... they're expecting me." 

You hadn't failed to notice the way he said Eggsy's name, because even for Merlin that was a bit much. But even if you could ignore the tone he took, you couldn't ignore the look in his eyes... the look in everyones eyes. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat deciding you shouldn't speak at all, because if you opened your mouth, you weren't sure what would come out. 

So you nodded shallowly deciding silence was definitely the answer, and with that he turned leaving you to the calm your eyes begged for. But not before tossing you one last dismal smile, and an even more sorrowful nod. You just stood there in your room— well, not your room exactly but a room. You know the one they used to lock the bride to be in before the wedding? Yeah, that's the one. Your hair was done up and curled. Your dress was on, your makeup and jewelry was set... Everything was perfect.

So why the fuck did you feel so empty?

You actually didn’t have to ask that question, because you already knew the answer. You sort of always knew, didn’t you? Yeah, you did... clearly everyone did. You were too proud to admit it though, so you just didn’t. You didn't think about it. You didn’t talk about it… you buried it so deep within yourself, piling your arms full of work and plans for the wedding... shoving it as far down as you could while you play the part expected of you. 

Endless distractions to keep your addled heart in place. You realized now though that you only seemed to make things worse, and now as you pace the space; the quiet patter of heels echoing the large empty room you couldn’t help but wonder if this would turn out to be some giant mistake.

That’s not to say that Sam wasn’t incredible… he was. Sam was a great man— a far better man than you deserved. His heart was so pure and full of kindness... He was exactly the kind of man your family wanted for you, but there was one thing he wasn’t. 

He wasn’t Eggsy Unwin. 

You sighed heavily dropping to the chair beneath your cloud of a dress, the fabric puffing profusely as you drew in a deep breath removing your shoes. Why the hell were you wearing them so early anyway? “Okay… this is fine. Everything’s going to be fine. You want this…. you want this.” you ended in a determined whisper. 

When you slid your eyes to the clock it read 1:12pm. The wedding was set to start at 4pm, which meant you had only a few hours left to be locked in here. A few hours until you’d be locked somewhere else…

Roxy’d been with you most of the time, but you asked her if you could have some space because those looks were getting to be a bit much. It was like the one Merlin gave you before he left... the same one Harry wore all day too. None of them had to say anything for you to know what those looks meant, and that only made things harder.

Would Eggsy be wearing that face too?

_Knock, knock, knock, knock_

“Roxy… I really just,” you paused as the door creaked open, another forceful sigh escaping as you slid your eyes towards the intrusion. But it wasn’t Roxy or Merlin... it was the very person that filled your heart with doubt, and when you saw him your heart nearly stopped. 

To answer your previous question... yes he was, and he wore it beautifully. Except there was something a little different in Eggsy's eyes. There was a deeper more looming darkness in them, like a man about to lose everything. The way his brow curved looked just like a bloody puppy, and his eyes were so heavy you felt a pang of guilt spread from your chest; rooting you in place. But Eggsy just stood there with his face somehow light yet burdened, and all you wanted to do was grab him and tell him it would all be alright. 

But you couldn't, because you didn't know did you? There sure were a lot of things you didn't know... but you realized now there were even more things you couldn't say.

“Eggsy…” you stood as he stepped closer. He didn’t say anything though, he just slid his gaze to yours with brows lifted in that beautiful curve of pain. “What are— is everything okay?”

He shook his head shallowly, taking another step closer. You could see he was breathing heavily, and that his hair was out of place, tossed softly to the side like he had ran there. 

“Don’t do it.”

And you didn’t have to ask what, because you knew exactly what he meant. “I have to.”

He pressed closer, the space between you more intimate than it’d been in months, and you missed him so fucking much even though he was right in front of you... Eggsy was so close you could smell his skin— sweet and soft like honey. Your eyes danced over each surface of his broken mask, raking over his eyes momentarily, then sliding to his jawline, and ending on the downward curve of his lips… 

“You don’t.” he whispered, taking one more step towards you, his chest still falling in beautiful rhythm.

It was hard to look away as your eyes began filling with tears, but it was harder to deny the appeal as your lip trembled pressing tightly together. The thought of just running off with Eggsy was more than a little tempting... It was something you’d wanted for years, but you’d made a promise to someone else. 

You were literally hours away from honoring that promise. You couldn’t just… and that's exactly what you were going to tell him. That you were sorry, but you couldn't.

“I…” but your words broke in your throat.

Eggsy took one final step towards you, that revert gaze still pressed beneath those brows and only fixed on you. You watched as he lifted his hand hesitantly; lingering just a few seconds from your cheek before finally letting his fingertips trace the lines of it patiently. You closed your eyes leaning into the tickle that danced sightly down your neck to rest just below your ear at the side of your neck, and in that moment you were gone.

“Please," he nearly begged, his face pulled slightly in defeat. "don’t do it.”

You squeezed your eyes closed, the tears releasing down your cheek in gentle streams, and all you could think about was which choice would haunt you more. 

Would spending your life with the wrong man or never trying with the right one fuck you up worse? 

Again, you weren't sure, and honestly… how could you know which one was which? And no matter which way this went someone would end up hurt, and that thought nearly drove you insane. 

“Eggsy,” you stepped into him, eyes still closed and hand still locked atop the warmth of his. “I just can’t…” 

You watched as his face lost all expression, and as his jaw fell open partially; his eyes almost blinking but never fully closing as he bit back the clear pang he felt through his entire body. He swallowed, pushing his mouth into a finer line than before as he nodded once and stepped back, dropping his hand to the side. Eggsy nodded again- quicker than before, and made his way towards the door with a new kind of haste. He slid his hand across his mouth more out of habit than any actual need as he stopped just before the door. 

He didn't turn to face you, and he didn't speak again either, and all you did was watch his broad shoulders rise and fall in cadence. You just fucking stood there… silent as a mouse as he ran his hand over his hair, straightening it back to place. You just watched with breath locked in your throat as he buttoned his suit jacket— still not facing you, and still not speaking. 

You watched as he lifted his hand to the doorknob. Watched as he pulled it open. Watched as he stepped through the door, and watched as it closed behind him.

You just watched, oh so quietly with hands clenched into fists so tight your nails punctured the palms of your hand… you stood there frozen as the red drips of blood dotted on your white silken dress; staining it permanently... and now you just listened to his footsteps growing silent down the hall.

“Eggsy…” you whispered to your feet, shooting your gaze from the mess below to the closed door, your breath raising faster than a brisk mountain wind. And before you knew it you were running to the door, your bloody hand marking the path you took delicately like breadcrumbs as you stepped down the hall. 

You couldn't see him at first, and panic set in... but you saw a flicker of orange, and your eyes shot to those defeated shoulders growing smaller and smaller. You grabbed two large handfuls of your dress and ran towards him, and to be honest you weren’t even thinking at this point— you were just doing. Just reacting… and you knew it would be messy. That this was so totally fucked, but you couldn't go through with it. 

You just couldn't.

When you nearly reached him you didn’t say a word, but he knew you were there. You caught the second his face changed from that of a man whose heart had been crushed to dust, to that almost cheeky smile you’d been so desperately in love with. 

“Y/n—“ but before he could say your name in full, you had already grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a kiss. A hand fell to place at your hip, pulling you closer the other resting on your chin and neck in such ease it was a wonder you hadn’t done it before. The way he kissed you was passionate, fervent and nearly zealous like he had an insatiable hunger. It was like he could never be closer to you, like you were the fucking open galaxy and he was a hopelessly lost in space, but determined to chart it all. “Wait, wait— Y/n... you sure about this?” he asked you, lingering at your lips; your breath mixing as his tongue slid to yours again tenderly. “I mean really sure…” 

“All of this...” you signaled around you: to your updo, the big poofy dress you didn’t want, and all the decorations. “None of this is me… I-I don't want this. I was just so tired of loving someone that didn’t want me that I filled the space with someone that did, and it's— I know it's..." you stopped pulling your top lip in to chew, releasing a breath. It was terrible, and it was true, but you did love Sam... you just loved Eggsy more. "It's fucked up. But-that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that I don’t know a lot of things, hell, I don't know anything. I never have. I'm impulsive and rash, and I make bad decisions every day. And most the time I can't see them before it's too late. But this... I know. I know that the biggest mistake I could ever make would be to go through with this wedding.”

Eggsy leaned his forehead to yours, pulling you closer; breathing you in.

"I love you, Eggsy..." you confessed finally, and it felt like a weight was lifted.

"I love you so bloody much, Y/n. Was gonna watch you marry him, wasn't I? Was jus gonna hold my fuckin’ tongue, jus let you go. But Rox said somethin’ an I realized that I couldn’t sit back no more.” he paused pulling the pearled clip from your hair, letting the curls fall freely to your shoulders. Then placed his hand to your chin softly, the pad of his thumb tracing over your lip. “Or maybe I could, but I wasn't gonna. Cause even if you'd said no... even if you hated me after. Least I'd of done it, yeah? I'd of told ya... an it woulda been worth it. That'd of been one thing I could never regret.” He kissed you again, just once; hovering with lips brushing against yours lightly. "But I don't want you makin' a mistake with me, Y/n... don't want you regrettin' this. Regrettin' me."

"Eggsy Unwin you are the one thing I know I'd never regret. Ever."

You realized in that moment that it didn't matter whether you were making the right mistake, or the wrong one— because there was no right or wrong here, not really. There was just this: life, and you only had the one to live. 

Wouldn't you rather spend it with him?

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 tomorrow! <3


End file.
